Hi, I'm Gary. I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how I changed my life. Before I joined LiveJournal as an eternal optimistic poster, I was a lost little sad soul, spending my Saturday nights collecting loose change from my sofa and watching Reality TV shows all alone in the dark, wishing I could get more out of my life. I was spit on, laughed at and made to scrub toilets when I ventured out of my miserable pain cave.
One day I followed a simple link from my invisible friend named Heather's instant message and now, for just a few dollars each month, I am popular! My social calendar is always full, I am showered with free drinks at awesome never-ending parties, and I am even planning on learning to ride the mechanical bull! I used to have chronic zits on my face and an ulcer - now I glow like J.Lo and a delicious body like Brad Pitt! You too, can have all of the world in the palm of your hand. Don't be green with envy...just be GREEN!
Ah, what the hell, you can even have Livejournal for free and still be popular as ever! Join as a member of LiveJournal. We need more desperately loners just like you.